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SEPARATION AND DIVORCE
The decision about separation or divorce is never an easy one. Whether the decision was yours or your partner’s, you are still likely to experience a roller-coaster of emotions.
Even if you have foreseen the end of the relationship, it can still be a struggle as you begin to work through the practicalities involved. You might also feel anxious about the future and by the number of decisions to make.
If you did not want the partnership to end, you may be feeling bitter and betrayed, there can be a sense of being powerless as well as anger or disbelief.
Whatever the circumstances, loss and grief can be present, even if you want to ‘move on. All these strong emotions can be obstacles to resolving the practical matters to do with facing the future after separation or divorce.
Relationship counselling clients say their biggest concerns about separation or divorce are:
Children – how to tell them; access arrangements and emotional support; how to co-parent although separated; minimizing the effect on the children of any parental conflict.
Property – considering where to live; whether to sell or rent the joint home.
Financial agreement – how household bills will be handled at least for the time being; financial support for any children; reaching agreement on how to separate financial assets (savings, pensions, debts, mortgage, bank accounts and credit cards).
Friends and family – how to handle mutual friendships and relations after separation or divorce; who needs to know and how will they be told?
Surviving and moving on – emotional support and practical steps so you can cope; giving yourself time and space to process everything.
Many of my clients have said that relationship counselling is really beneficial.